Vulnerability. Man... being vulnerable is one of the most uncomfortable, utterly exposed positions one can find herself in. I am vulnerable. I am naked and found out. Nothing is hidden, everything is disclosed.

I thought I understood that God sees all things. He knows man's heart better than man himself. Yet, often this is not a reality in my life. The fact that God knows my innermost thoughts and motives does not always resonate in my mind. Until I find myself face to face with reality, His omniscience becomes real to me.

With aches that came from the depth of my being, I once again felt the sorrow that had once made its home within me years ago. I questioned whether or not I had learned from my past mistakes as I met this "friend" once again. By "friend" I refer to "pain." Though initially I did not perceive pain to be my friend, light shined into my heart and soul during the manifestation of this pain. Pain led me to see my depravity. I am utterly and hopelessly selfish.

In light of the suffering my Savior experienced on the cross, my ache is 1/1,000,000 of the pain caused by a tiny paper cut. Yet, I have the audacity and boldness to cry out and question my Creator. Does not suffering result in joy in my God? Does not affliction lead me to the throne of my Maker? How then can I despise this menial burden?

Knowing my frailty and lack of strength, He has been gracious and merciful toward me. He sent me a friend who was battling with her flesh and spirit in the moment of my anguish (or rather, pity). Gently, He confronted me with reality. Indeed, He is ever interceding for me at the right hand of the Father. He is not content that I find my pleasure and delight in what is earthly or temporal. My ultimate joy must reside in Him, my Sustainer and Source. He is not willing that I remain in this state of flux, rather that I rest upon the solid rock and sing His praise. He is worthy of all praise.

Seeing my friend's struggle, I was reminded that we are not alone in this battle. Truly affliction and discomfort bring about greater faith, greater hope, greater joy, and greater praise. Oh, that I would hold my tongue and not look inward but toward Him who formed me. Jesus is truly the Hound of Heaven. He is closing in on me, and allowing my world to cave in, in order that He might be adored above all else. May all of my affections be cast upon His sweet face as He leads me through the trials of this life.