"Something More"... and that being death at work in me.

I have been hesitating to write this for quite some time. I recently told a friend that I struggle with posting blogs because so often my motives are to glorify myself. Yep, I struggle with pride. As I sit here to type, there is a pit in my stomach, but a "knowing" that I must press on in hopes of building up others in the faith.
Just before I headed back east, a dear friend of mine from WA wrote me a note. Her words were so often a source of encouragement and comfort to me during my time out west... and yet again, in this note they served the same purpose. She told me of how an impression of "something more" always came to her mind and heart when she would pray for me. Not knowing exactly what that meant, she left that to my discernment and encouraged me to pray and seek God for clarification as to how that slogan applied to my life. No sooner did God show me what it meant.
Initially when I thought of what exactly "something more" could be, I associated it with extravagance... or a big ministry in my future, etc., etc. But, no. God did not allow my imagination to run wild with those kinds of self-exalting thoughts. He clearly showed me that "something more" in my life needed to be more death. Death. Death, so that He might live. Death, so that life could be at work in others. Death, so that all the glory is given to His son, Jesus Christ. Death, so that I do not get carried away by selfish motives. Death, so that no one is drawn to Ally, rather Christ in Ally. Death, so that the hope of the living Christ pours out of every act. Death... so that He is the prize, rather than what He can give to me.
I got to thinking... if the perfect and holy God of this universe can die to His position in Heaven, so that a selfish sinner such as myself could live in eternity with Him... then can't I die to my miniscule plans or agendas so that He might be brought glory through my life? The more I try to hold on to my wants and ambitions, the less He is glorified in me. It is in the "let-go", that He becomes my sufficiency. It is in the place of surrender that I am freed to experience His presence as the one, all-satisfying treasure.
Oh, that God may help me if I seek to glorify myself. How often have I made it my aim to make others glad in Him? He gently revealed to me that the truth is, I lead others to hope in what He will do in their future rather than in Him- the One who is to be adored and treasured. How dare I point others in the direction of what they can "get" from God, rather than leading them---BY EXAMPLE---to the contentment that comes from allowing God Himself to be their sufficiency.
Do not be deceived, as we die He lives! The only hope for lost humanity is to see God's people humbled and Christ exalted. The more I hold on to the things of this world, the less I look like Christ...oh, I have so far to go. The truth is...I am tremendously self-centered. I am so concerned with my own welfare, so filled with "self." Oh, that God would rid me of my own selfish ambitions that his desires might reign in my mortal body.
There is so much more I want to say, so many thoughts I would love to articulate. Yet, I know this is where I should end. My only hope and prayer would be that this somehow has encouraged those of you who have been questioning. Those who have been wondering if living for Him is worth it. My friend, as Christ is exalted in your life and as He is made to be your one desire... your hope, your joy... then and ONLY then is it worth it. Contentment in Him... satisfaction in His Word... these are the things that bring us through the trials of this life.
I leave you with the eloquent, Christ-exalting words of John Piper in hopes that His words will encourage you in a way mine could not. He writes, "God does not call us to ease, but to faithful joy. He is closing in on some of you, smiling and with tears in his eyes, knowing how much of himself he is going to show you---and how much it will cost. As I write, I pray that you will not turn away."